28: Caring or Controlling? Red Flags & Early Boundary Violations
- Gemma Gladstone
- May 20, 2021
Welcome to another episode of the Good Mood Clinic podcast! Today, Gemma Gladstone follows on with the theme of red flags.
A short while ago, Gemma and Justine introduced their course called The Red Flag Project. The Red Flag Project course stems from their experience working with a niche group of women going to therapy to work on a consistent pattern they observed in their lives where relationships became unsustainable. Or they kept on getting romantically involved with partners who were avoidant or had difficulty forming secure relationships. Those patterns could play out in any relationship. Because our schemas, how we were raised, and our attachment history and patterns tend to influence our partner choice and the push-pull dynamic in our relationships.
There is a sub-group of women who seem to get involved with narcissistic men who could be very controlling or even dangerous, and some women find it hard to notice and act upon the early warning signs. Today, Gemma talks about the difference between caring and controlling behavior within relationships and the red flags that show up as early boundary violations. Be sure to listen in to learn about the red flags that could alert you to patterns of coercive control in your relationship.
Show highlights:
- Coercive control in relationships usually involves a pattern of a man controlling his female partner.
- Gemma describes the lessons in the Red Flag Project course.
- Gemma explains what a boundary is and talks about different types of boundaries.
- Things that tend to influence the way we establish our boundaries.
- Gemma gives some examples of emotional boundaries and talks about strategies for setting effective boundaries.
- Some examples of early markers of boundary violations and controlling behavior.
- What early markers of boundary violations could consist of.
- Gemma talks about some early markers of physical boundary violations.
- Gemma shares some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether someone is capable of respecting your boundaries.
- Some traits of those who fall into the category of potentially falling into a relationship with a controlling partner.
- Some schemas get in the way of setting and adhering to healthy boundaries.
Links and resources:
Email Gemma and Justine at justineandgemma@goodmood.com.au if you would like to reach out to us, raise a topic, or ask a question.
Check out our website for more information on our Red Flag Project.
Check out what’s new on our Learning Hub.
For women seeking counselling, support, or guidance, contact 1800 737 732
For men seeking counselling, support, or guidance, contact the men’s helpline 1300 78 99 78