31: Breaking Up – When Schemas Get in the Way of Calling It Quits
- Gemma Gladstone
- July 15, 2021
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It is not uncommon early on in a relationship to realize deep down that your emotional needs will not be met, yet you find you are unable to leave. Things might have started hopefully, and you crave the connection and want things to work out, but you see a red flag. Or there may have been an accumulation of things that have added up over time. Either way, it is painful to be in a position where you know it is in your best interest to break things off, but you cannot do it.
Today, Gemma and Justine follow on from their last conversation in the area of breakups. In this episode, they talk about what happens in the early stage of a relationship, or a newly established relationship, when part of you knows that things are not working, or something is not right, but you cannot get out of it. Be sure to stay tuned today to learn how to start moving away from toxic patterns when you find your schemas getting in the way of calling it quits with a relationship.
- Gemma and Justine discuss the inner conflict that happens when you know you should leave, but your abandonment schema gets in the way.
- It is vital to tune into your internal red flags and trust your gut instinct when you are not treated well enough or disrespected by someone.
- Recognizing the red flags when the writing is on the wall for a relationship.
- Some schemas and core beliefs could get in the way of ending a new relationship.
- Facing your inner critic is vital for seeing things as they are.
- Recognizing your adaptations of other-directedness.
- The dynamics in some relationships can constantly trigger schemas, and that could cause and maintain depression in some people.
- Learning to recognize it when you minimize, intellectualize, or rationalize someone’s bad behavior.
- Recognizing and acknowledging inconsistent or avoidant behavior in a partner.
- It is far better, to be honest with yourself and go through the short-term pain of calling a relationship off sooner rather than later if you are not getting what you need.
- Moving away from toxic patterns.
- How proximate disconnection could lead to an emotional deprivation schema.
- Abandonment and emotional deprivation tend to appear when someone has avoidant behaviors.
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