35: Fifty Shades of Red: Indicators of Coercive Control Very Early
- Gemma Gladstone
- September 9, 2021
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Managing all the uncertainty surrounding the pandemic can be tough and make it hard for many of us to remain grounded during these challenging times. That’s why we need to talk openly with our kids about anything that could be worrying them and spend some extra time on our self-care right now.
Gemma and Justine are passionate about helping women make better choices in their relationships. In this new series of episodes, they will be focusing on helping women to identify the red flags that tend to show up very early on when dating, or in relationships, that could potentially lead to emotional unavailability in a partner, a partner being controlling, or a more dangerous outcome.
In the past, Justine and Gemma have both been in relationships with unavailable partners. Many of their clients have also experienced problematic relationship patterns. In this episode, they will be talking about some of the markers that might show up soon after you meet someone that could give away a tendency for them to become controlling and toxic in a relationship. Stay tuned today to learn about coercive control and how to spot some of the darker red flags that might show up early on when you are dating someone.
- Justine talks about what they will be exploring over the next three podcasts.
- Gemma shares some devastating statistics.
- A pattern of coercive control often precedes violent crimes against women.
- Justine and Gemma do a role play to show what coercive control looks like when it shows up in the early stages of dating.
- Getting into an intimate or sexual relationship can set a woman’s attachment system off. That makes it harder to make rational and healthy adult decisions.
- Mentioning an ex can be a red flag.
- A manipulative attempt can often be dressed up with romantic gestures.
- Some examples of how a healthy person would treat you, compared with someone potentially coercive or controlling.
- Pseudo intimacy may feel a bit off, but it could also feel pleasantly romantic.
- What does it show you when the guy you are dating posits himself as a victim and his ex as a perpetrator in the stories he tells?
- Slow down, collect data, and speak out when you do not feel comfortable.
- Why do you need to notice it when you start feeling guilty?
Other links and resources:
Reinventing Your Life by Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson
See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill
The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker
In Control by Jane Monckton Smith
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