41: Dating with an Abandonment Schema – Part 1
- Gemma Gladstone
- February 3, 2022
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
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Welcome to the first episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast for 2022!
When making new year resolutions, most of us tend to think about things we can improve in our lives and the patterns we would like to change. One of those patterns usually relates to relationships. Justine has already had several sessions this year with people who want to break their relationship patterns so that they can finally meet someone emotionally available and have a proper relationship.
Our schemas tend to hinder our relationship radar and keep us doing the same thing over and over. If you have an abandonment schema and would like to meet someone available, you have to take responsibility for the choices you make and look at how your schema impacts your choices. If you want to avoid becoming a victim, you also need to be accountable for the role you play in your relationships.
The abandonment schema is the oldest and most primal schema you could have. In this episode, Gemma and Justine dive into the abandonment schema and discuss how it affects people when they date. They explain how an abandonment schema develops, what it feels like, and what tends to activate it. Justine also talks about what she does to help her clients prevent their abandonment schemas from getting triggered when dating. Listen in today to learn how to take responsibility for your abandonment schema and find out how your abandonment schema could trip you up when dating.
Show highlights:
- The abandonment schema is a common theme in many of Justine’s sessions.
- To do online dating, you have to be in the right mindset.
- Your abandonment schema might get activated early on when dating someone. Justine talks about various problems that could occur when that happens.
- How does an abandonment schema form when we are very young?
- What does an abandonment schema feel like?
- Gemma and Justine discuss the core belief carried by an abandonment schema.
- What tends to trigger an abandonment schema?
- Some strategies to prevent your abandonment schema from getting activated when dating someone.
- Learn how to cope with red flags and obstacles that might arise when dating someone.
- How to detect early signs of narcissism in the person you are dating.
- It is vital to flush out potentially avoidant people or individuals who may be catfishing early on.