50: Schema Chemistry 101: Uncovering the Hidden Reason Why Your Relationships Don’t Work Out
- Gemma Gladstone
- June 2, 2022
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We are talking about schema chemistry today!
Have you ever been swept away in the excitement of a new relationship soon after meeting someone? Perhaps you cannot stop thinking about the person and believe they are perfect for you because it feels like you have known them all your life. It might feel amazing initially, but over the next few weeks or months, things start to unravel. You may begin to feel some pangs of uncertainty and insecurity. You might feel disconnected, unseen, or afraid of losing them. Eventually, the relationship fizzles out, and you feel devastated even though you were not together for long, and you wonder what is happening.
Romantic relationships tend to be loaded with potential patterns of repetition and baggage from the past. Often, we are not even aware of it. Usually, the more intense the romantic chemistry, the less likely you will have your emotional needs met and the more unsuitable that person will be for you in the long term.
In this episode, we dive into the interactions between schemas and modes. Stay tuned to uncover the hidden reason why your relationships don’t work out, find out how your schemas and modes can influence your romantic relationships, and learn what you can do to avoid getting stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns!
- When you think of your previous relationships, it is worth pondering whether or not they were loaded with baggage you brought in from the past.
- What tends to happen when we are in a schema-driven relationship?
- Gemma and Justine discuss the patterns and cycles they see with schemas and how people tend to get involved with emotionally unavailable partners because of their schemas.
- Sometimes people with similar schemas get together but cope in different ways. Their coping styles can trigger each other. Justine gives an example of that kind of interaction.
- Gemma and Justine explain how schema chemistry keeps people stuck in relationships that reinforce their schemas.
- Schema therapy is a good framework for understanding how your schemas keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships, breaking patterns, and empowering yourself.
- How to use schema therapy to make better dating decisions and avoid getting stuck in relationships that reinforce your schemas.
- Some signs that you could be in a relationship with high schema chemistry.