60: When Good Enough Is Never Enough: The Unrelenting Standards Schema. Part 1
- Gemma Gladstone
- August 18, 2022
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We are talking about the unrelenting standards schema today.
The unrelenting standards schema is closely related to perfectionism. People with an unrelenting standards schema tend to have very high expectations of themselves that do not change, regardless of the situation they are in. They are constantly striving for standards, and when they don’t meet them, it can be very distressing. Some people become so good at meeting high standards that their lives become extremely stressful.
Recovery from most schemas can be an ongoing process because the brain will always respond when triggered and return to a place it has been many times before. With therapy or coaching, the strength of the signal will weaken, the pain of your experience will lessen, and you will be quick to observe your schema and deal with it.
In this episode, Gemma and Justine explain what an unrelenting standards schema is, what lies underneath it, and where it originates. They also get into how it feels, how different people cope with it, and ways to normalize it. Stay tuned for more!
Show highlights:
- What does it feel like to have an unrelenting standards schema?
- There is sometimes a secondary schema lurking beneath an unrelenting standards schema.
- When you have an unrelenting standards schema, you could feel a lot of internal pressure and become anxious. It could also impact you physiologically.
- Many people misconstrue what perfectionism is.
- How do people with an unrelenting standards schema feel about failing?
- The schema can manifest in different ways. Gemma and Justine give some examples of how it might show up.
- An unrelenting standards schema is often an attempt to prove oneself and can be accompanied by deep, uncomfortable feelings.
- How do people with an unrelenting standards schema cope?
- People with an unrelenting standards schema often feel defective or flawed and tend to lack self-compassion.
- What does it mean to surrender to a schema?
- How does an unrelenting standards schema originate?
- Justine and Gemma discuss the messages they received about themselves while growing up and explore the origins of their schemas.
- Perfectionism can have positive effects on some people and affect others negatively.
- Never compare yourself to others, and be prepared to take risks.
What to expect from the new Know Your Schemas course that will come out soon.