Episode 69: Three Signs You Need Better Boundaries
- Gemma Gladstone
- November 28, 2022
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
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In today’s episode we discuss 3 signs that you may want to firm up your psychological boundaries.
The first one is Resentment. Having high levels of long standing resentment is a sign that you have been suppressing your true thoughts and feelings for way too long, perhaps you have been “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”. Resentment can be the result of surrendering to your subjugation schema- feeling that you can’t speak your mind for fear of retaliation, rejection and disapproval.
The second sign is Burnout. Reaching Burnout means you’ve hit a wall and you can feel 1) exhausted; 2) reduced fulfilment in life and/or work and 3) general cynicism that often goes with a feeling of reduced empathy for others. This can all be the result of doing too much, putting your own needs last, assuming too much responsibility for others; pushing yourself to your physical and emotional limits; not saying “no” when you really should and pursuing unrelenting standards to your detriment.
The third is Guilt. Guilt is a normal and sometimes useful and valid emotion. But many times we can feel way too much guilt and be driven by unreasonably high levels of this emotion. The self-sacrifice schema is largely driven by guilt – people with a high degree of this schema can be preoccupied by the need to lessen their guilt by overly focusing on the needs of others. Self-care and boundaries are compromised when we also prioritise other people’s needs and think that it our job to take away other people’s pain and suffering. When we fail to do this enough, we can feel incredibly guilty.
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