Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Go straight to THE RED FLAG PROJECT course for women
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Managing all the uncertainty surrounding the pandemic can be tough and make it hard for many of us to remain grounded during these challenging times. That’s why we need to talk openly with our kids about anything that could be worrying them and spend some extra time on our self-care right now.
Gemma and Justine are passionate about helping women make better choices in their relationships. In this new series of episodes, they will be focusing on helping women to identify the red flags that tend to show up very early on when dating, or in relationships, that could potentially lead to emotional unavailability in a partner, a partner being controlling, or a more dangerous outcome.
In the past, Justine and Gemma have both been in relationships with unavailable partners. Many of their clients have also experienced problematic relationship patterns. In this episode, they will be talking about some of the markers that might show up soon after you meet someone that could give away a tendency for them to become controlling and toxic in a relationship. Stay tuned today to learn about coercive control and how to spot some of the darker red flags that might show up early on when you are dating someone.
- Justine talks about what they will be exploring over the next three podcasts.
- Gemma shares some devastating statistics.
- A pattern of coercive control often precedes violent crimes against women.
- Justine and Gemma do a role play to show what coercive control looks like when it shows up in the early stages of dating.
- Getting into an intimate or sexual relationship can set a woman’s attachment system off. That makes it harder to make rational and healthy adult decisions.
- Mentioning an ex can be a red flag.
- A manipulative attempt can often be dressed up with romantic gestures.
- Some examples of how a healthy person would treat you, compared with someone potentially coercive or controlling.
- Pseudo intimacy may feel a bit off, but it could also feel pleasantly romantic.
- What does it show you when the guy you are dating posits himself as a victim and his ex as a perpetrator in the stories he tells?
- Slow down, collect data, and speak out when you do not feel comfortable.
- Why do you need to notice it when you start feeling guilty?
Other links and resources:
Reinventing Your Life by Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson
See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill
The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker
In Control by Jane Monckton Smith
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Welcome to another episode of the Good Mood Clinic podcast! Today, Gemma Gladstone follows on with the theme of red flags.
A short while ago, Gemma and Justine introduced their course called The Red Flag Project. The Red Flag Project course stems from their experience working with a niche group of women going to therapy to work on a consistent pattern they observed in their lives where relationships became unsustainable. Or they kept on getting romantically involved with partners who were avoidant or had difficulty forming secure relationships. Those patterns could play out in any relationship. Because our schemas, how we were raised, and our attachment history and patterns tend to influence our partner choice and the push-pull dynamic in our relationships.
There is a sub-group of women who seem to get involved with narcissistic men who could be very controlling or even dangerous, and some women find it hard to notice and act upon the early warning signs. Today, Gemma talks about the difference between caring and controlling behavior within relationships and the red flags that show up as early boundary violations. Be sure to listen in to learn about the red flags that could alert you to patterns of coercive control in your relationship.
- Coercive control in relationships usually involves a pattern of a man controlling his female partner.
- Gemma describes the lessons in the Red Flag Project course.
- Gemma explains what a boundary is and talks about different types of boundaries.
- Things that tend to influence the way we establish our boundaries.
- Gemma gives some examples of emotional boundaries and talks about strategies for setting effective boundaries.
- Some examples of early markers of boundary violations and controlling behavior.
- What early markers of boundary violations could consist of.
- Gemma talks about some early markers of physical boundary violations.
- Gemma shares some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether someone is capable of respecting your boundaries.
- Some traits of those who fall into the category of potentially falling into a relationship with a controlling partner.
- Some schemas get in the way of setting and adhering to healthy boundaries.
Links and resources:
Email Gemma and Justine at firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like to reach out to us, raise a topic, or ask a question.
Check out our website for more information on our Red Flag Project.
Check out what’s new on our Learning Hub.
For women seeking counselling, support, or guidance, contact 1800 737 732
For men seeking counselling, support, or guidance, contact the men’s helpline 1300 78 99 78