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We are talking about the defectiveness shame schema today. It is one of the core schemas. It is quite common, and it tends to develop early in life.
The defectiveness schema is tricky. It is sometimes so deeply hidden that we may not even know someone has it. It comes with a deep sense of unworthiness and feelings of being fundamentally flawed as an individual.
People with the defectiveness schema often feel unlovable. In this episode, Gemma and Justine dive into the defectiveness schema, what it might feel like, and how it can vary for different people. They also get into the emotion of shame, the inner critic, how people cope with their feelings of shame, and ways to modify a defectiveness schema.
Stay tuned to learn all you need about the defectiveness schema and find out what you can do to heal it.
Show highlights:
- Justine defines and describes the defectiveness shame schema.
- Schemas tend to operate outside of our awareness.
- The emotion of shame can sometimes be hard to identify. It feels exceptionally unpleasant, and some people go to great lengths to avoid it.
- Shame tends to make people want to hide.
- Why is shame a survival emotion?
- What could trigger feelings of shame?
- How does shame tend to overlap with narcissistic people?
- How do children develop feelings of shame?
- Defectiveness, like all the other schemas, is on a spectrum.
- Gemma describes the inner critic as it relates to feelings of shame and defectiveness.
- The origins of the defectiveness schema.
- There is a difference between normal shame and toxic shame.
- What can you do to modify your defectiveness schema?