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Today, Gemma does a solo episode on what you need to know if you have an abandonment schema and find yourself getting triggered in a relationship.
We, as humans, are wired to be cared for by others and form strong physical and emotional attachments. We depend on our early attachments, so if those attachment needs are unfulfilled, interrupted, or severed, we could develop an abandonment schema.
An abandonment schema can wreak havoc in our relationships, especially romantic ones. It can get in the way of thinking clearly and making healthy decisions when we start a new relationship. It can even capture our emotions entirely and send us down all kinds of rabbit holes.
In this episode, Gemma dives into three different categories people fall into when they have an abandonment schema and get triggered in a relationship. Stay tuned to find out how to work out what is going on with you if you have an abandonment schema and feel anxious about a new relationship.
- People in the first category get triggered because their partner’s behavior is observably problematic, and they are reacting to something real.
- Gemma gives examples of problematic behavior in a partner that could trigger someone with an abandonment schema.
- If you have an abandonment schema, you have to be able to analyze what is going on in the early stages of a new relationship.
- Gemma explains why people tend to sabotage a relationship when their partner is predominantly reliable and the relationship is generally good.
- Some examples of situations in which your reactions could create secondary problems.
- Gemma discusses the various modes of operating people in the second category use to cope with their abandonment schema in a new relationship.
- Doing active healing work around an abandonment schema can be helpful. Gemma explains what that means.
- With the third category, it can be helpful to have the input of a third party to figure out what is going on.
- Gemma summarizes the three different categories.