Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
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Justine tends to overcommit to things. After agreeing to do something, she often regrets it and lands up with a schema hangover because there are big consequences to changing her mind and saying no, and getting out of what she has committed to do can sometimes create a big drama.
Since the last episode, she has been reflecting on how much an unrelenting standards schema contributes to people’s stress and sense of being rushed. She was wondering if unrelenting standards might be playing a role in her recent feelings of stress and sense of being rushed because it’s a sneaky schema that could pop up anywhere.
In this episode, Gemma and Justine dive into what it takes to change or modify an unrelenting standards schema. They discuss various criteria that might indicate that your schema is playing out and offer advice on what you can do to overcome perfectionism, retrain your brain, and start doing things differently. Stay tuned for more!
Show highlights:
- Justine gives an example of where she tends to overcommit to things and explains why she thinks it was unrelenting standards and not her self-sacrifice schema playing out.
- Changing a schema requires constant observation, reflection, and problem-solving.
- Gemma recaps what goes on and how it feels when you have an unrelenting standards schema.
- Some criteria for where to start with consciously changing or modifying a schema.
- Procrastination could indicate that your schema is playing out.
- How avoidance ties into concerns about not being good enough.
- You need to know what triggers your schema.
- It is best to focus on one thing at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
- You can use the shame, anxiety, or embarrassment you feel in certain situations to your advantage to overcome your schema.
- How to retrain your brain and coach yourself through changing the way you do things.
- You can train your mind to overcome perfectionism.
What to expect from the new Know Your Schemas course that will come out soon.
Go straight to THE RED FLAG PROJECT course for women
Visit our website THE GOOD MOOD CLINIC
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theredflagproject._/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/The-Red-Flag-Project-103442091937249
Schema Chemistry Recorded Webinar
Ask us a question or suggest a topic by emailing: justineandgemma@goodmood.com.au
Healing the Vulnerable Child Webinar
Register your interest for our new Know Your Schemas course
We are talking about the unrelenting standards schema today.
The unrelenting standards schema is closely related to perfectionism. People with an unrelenting standards schema tend to have very high expectations of themselves that do not change, regardless of the situation they are in. They are constantly striving for standards, and when they don’t meet them, it can be very distressing. Some people become so good at meeting high standards that their lives become extremely stressful.
Recovery from most schemas can be an ongoing process because the brain will always respond when triggered and return to a place it has been many times before. With therapy or coaching, the strength of the signal will weaken, the pain of your experience will lessen, and you will be quick to observe your schema and deal with it.
In this episode, Gemma and Justine explain what an unrelenting standards schema is, what lies underneath it, and where it originates. They also get into how it feels, how different people cope with it, and ways to normalize it. Stay tuned for more!
Show highlights:
- What does it feel like to have an unrelenting standards schema?
- There is sometimes a secondary schema lurking beneath an unrelenting standards schema.
- When you have an unrelenting standards schema, you could feel a lot of internal pressure and become anxious. It could also impact you physiologically.
- Many people misconstrue what perfectionism is.
- How do people with an unrelenting standards schema feel about failing?
- The schema can manifest in different ways. Gemma and Justine give some examples of how it might show up.
- An unrelenting standards schema is often an attempt to prove oneself and can be accompanied by deep, uncomfortable feelings.
- How do people with an unrelenting standards schema cope?
- People with an unrelenting standards schema often feel defective or flawed and tend to lack self-compassion.
- What does it mean to surrender to a schema?
- How does an unrelenting standards schema originate?
- Justine and Gemma discuss the messages they received about themselves while growing up and explore the origins of their schemas.
- Perfectionism can have positive effects on some people and affect others negatively.
- Never compare yourself to others, and be prepared to take risks.
What to expect from the new Know Your Schemas course that will come out soon.