The Red Flag Project: How to screen out ‘assholes’ and date with self-respect.
- Gemma Gladstone
- February 11, 2021
We are so pleased to be bringing you the first of our new on-line courses. The Red Flag Project: How to screen out ‘assholes’ and date with self-respect! Yes, we know, the title is totally irreverent and naughty. But if you like the title and can relate, then the course was probably made for you!
Over our years as clinical psychologists in private practice, we have worked with many women who have struggled to identify and act on, early warning signs when dating and entering new relationships. If they had been able to spot these ‘signals’ earlier and make decisions to not pursue a guy or end something early, then they would have saved themselves months of heartache and years of precious time!
Who exactly is this course for?
Well, this course is for women with a pattern of getting involved with “emotionally unavailable” men, including those subgroup of men who become controlling, possessive and harmful. This course is really for any woman trying to navigate the dating world and wanting guidance on how to not waste time with dates who are – unavailable, inconsistent, avoidant, detached, narcissistic or controlling.
There are women who find themselves embroiled with these types of men over and over again. We know what this feels like, because both of us had this pattern and have lived through the frustration and hopelessness associated with it.
We have chosen to focus on women for this particular course simply because we have worked with so many women hugely affected by this issue.
But where does this pattern come from?
Well, as you probably guessed, it’s got a lot to do with your childhood experiences and how you were parented. And……….your schemas, like the abandonment schema to name a dominant one. In other words, if you had any of the experiences below, then you may well struggle with this pattern:-
- One or both parents were critical, controlling, narcissistic or abusive
- You experienced early abandonment of some type or your care-givers were unreliable, unpredictable or inconsistent in a significant way
- You were emotionally neglected
- You never felt “good enough”
- You had to take care of others in your family or you had to “keep the peace”
What you’ll gain from doing the course?
Well, we’ll teach you how to spot the red flags when dating and…..
- Understand the relationship between your schemas and a pattern of attracting and staying with emotionally unavailable men (i.e., ‘schema chemistry’)
- Realise that this pattern is quite common and that you are not alone!
- Understand the difference between emotional availability and unavailability in a romantic partner
- Identify red flags of emotional unavailability, avoidance or disinterest when dating so you can avoid or end unsuitable relationships early
- Spot more ‘toxic’ red flags so you can screen out narcissistic or controlling guys
- Tune into your ‘Internal Red Flags’ and learn how to trust your gut instincts
- Use tools and exercises to gain greater insight, self-awareness and optimism for the future.
- Develop a step-by-step Dating Plan which you can start using immediately!
If you can relate to what we have been talking about, then we hope you check out the course and tell us what you think. We wish you every success in navigating your way through all the drama an eventually finding a relationship with an emotionally available and loving partner.
Yours in relationship success,